


Spying on Ladynoir: the story of a creeper in the crowd and a fancy-shmancy ball

by Kceratops



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Maybe a crack fic, Miraculous approved, dribble, maybe just weird writing, probably not, tumblr inspired, what is tagging even, what the heck is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 16:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6202525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kceratops/pseuds/Kceratops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've got to be honest here people. I posted this on a whim. I don't even know if there's going to be a plot. I just caught whiff of a dance-related Ladynoir story on someone's tumblr post that I will link somewhere (but not here apparently), and now you get this mess. </p><p>Mayor Bourgeois decides to throw a ball for Paris' favorite superheros. And I am going to attend even if I have to sell my house, my soul, and my dog. (Maybe not my dog. Please don't ask that of me. He is my life and soul and heart and mind.) </p><p>I mean, like, hopefully there's some decent Ladynoir somewhere in here at some point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Extra Cheering from an Extra

Ladybug and Chat Noir had done it again, but really who was surprised at this point. Look there they go waving to the crowd because yet another akuma had been taken out. Who really even remembered what the akuma’s powers were? Weren’t half of us turned into vegetables? Literally vegetables. My sister became a kumquat. We think. 

Are kumquats vegetables?

So anyway those two are waving and everyone is cheering. The entirety of Paris is cheering. I am cheering. Look at me. I can’t stop. I’m jumping up and down. Apparently being a vegetable is no piece of cake. I wouldn’t know. I don’t remember a thing. 

The mayor approaches with his tall body and his taller face with his no chin and dopey voice. He yells over the cheering, not even bothering to quiet the gathered crowd. 

“THIS IS A JOYOUS DAY AND I WISH--”

The crowd has quieted enough, and the mayor realizes that he was screaming at the super duo. 

Mayor Bourgeois coughs, then extends his hand once again. “This is a joyous day with Paris’ favorite superheros. Ladybug and Chat Noir, we would officially like to invite you to a ball dedicated in your honor.”

Ladybug squeals are loudest among the crowd. Except all of us are really squealing because the mayor is proposing a ball, and it seems all of Paris is invited. At least, that’s what we all think. 

“Tickets will be for sale at the first desk of the Palace.”

What a backpedal. What a day.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir, you will be our guests of honor. Please say you will except.”

The people chant and cry and shriek, and Ladybug looks sheepishly at Chat Noir. You can see her cheeks flush beneath the mask. 

Chat Noir shrugs, his own smile growing in excitement. “Yeah, I say that’s a great idea. As long as it’s not on a school night.”

Questioning glances cause Chat to stutter, and he rubs at the back of his neck. “Not that it matters to us. We are just thinking about the other children in Paris who might be in attendance. Got to think of everybody.” 

The cheering resumes. It’s an endless cry and I am part of it. I am the soul of it. I scream, because I am no longer a vegetable. 

The duo takes their leave, and we watch them go until they disappear, not bothering to follow, but unable to take our eyes off their perfect forms until they both disappeared around the same corner.


	2. Golden Ticket for the Extra

_They cannot stop me._

It’s my mantra. The sound inside my head looping in almost words with the mayor’s face and Ladybug swooping in between. 

They cannot stop me. I will go to this ball. And I will witness these beautiful people be beautiful. 

“No one even said they were going to stop you,” my sister says. She lounges on the couch, arms wrapped around the poof of a body that is my panting dog. 

I glare at the ginger hair, glare at the ginger freckles, glare at the lazy, ginger hand as it waves at my determination. 

“I am no mosquito,” I say. “I cannot be waved away. I will go to this ball even if it kills me!”

I storm through the house, ignoring her “tch,” as I search for the bulk of my prized possessions. 

Set of golf clubs that were bought secondhand by the hubs. Okay, maybe they’re his golf clubs. At least I’m not selling his nice set that cost us probably near a thousand dollars. 

…

My husband’s prized golf clubs that probably cost us _thousands_ of dollars.

My complete collection of _Fruits Basket_ manga by Natsuki Takaya. At seven bucks a book, that’s got to be a fortune already. Also consider that they are a part of my soul now. And half of them are stained with rare food spillage. I’m sure that will just increase my haul. 

Fancy antique chair gifted to us on our wedding day. That’s my favorite reading chair. If I got rid of it, where would I reread my _Fruits Basket_ series?

…

My husband. Very valuable. Very money. 

“Okay, luv? You can’t sell me,” my husband says as I drag him to sit on the antique chair I’m still debating. I mean… that fabric has never really gone with my decor. But that cushion! That stoutness! That ruggedly handsome beard! Oh yes, sorry that’s the husband. 

“Look, kid--”

“I’m older than you.” He drops his face in his hands, his shoulders drooping under the strain. 

“I said I would sell my soul to get tickets. And you’re a part of my soul. Even the Furuba is in the running!” I gesture wildly at my favorite manga, mind flashing to the fifteenth book, and my favorite almost confession scene in the book. Maybe I could just...

“You’re a grown adult with a job. Why not use actual money?” the husband asks, weary voice dipping a toe into frustration. 

“We can’t have enough! A prestigious ball like this one, there’s no way I can afford tickets like those. We’ll have to sell the house,” I say, hands wild and stallion eyes. 

I pace because what else could I add to this haul? What could give us the last few bucks required? My ninth Doctor, plastic, sonic screwdriver that glows? My Playstation three with chewed up controllers that only work if you tilt them sideways? My gold necklace that might have come from Walmart--my mother won’t answer the important questions? 

“Hey, look. I just bought us some tickets,” my darling husband says, lifting his expensive (but now unsellable because he dropped it in a toilet once) iPhone so I could read the sold button at the base of the screen. 

“Am I going to be the third wheel?” the sister asks, leaning around the dog so she could see the information on the phone. 

“Unless you want me to hock this ticket for a profit,” my husband says with a shrug. “I could always do that.”

“No I’ll come. I rarely get to go to balls,” she replies, her smirk already thoughtful. “Should we go dress shopping this afternoon.” 

“You both should go. I have an old tux that’ll do just fine,” my beautiful, rugged husband says.

“Yes this is a good plan. Let’s go,” my sister says. She leaves the couch and takes my arm because I am still floundering. 

Apparently, we have tickets. 

I am going to the ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even really include the story characters? Like my husband and sister have become OCs now? Like what is even a story?
> 
> But really this is the dumbest and I realize, but I am really enjoying just throwing my writing into the wind. I reread this once before posting. It probably makes very little sense. And these jokes are possibly stale?


	3. Perfect Fit for the Extra

I mean, like, my sister is kind of gorgeous. I’ll say it once and then again and again and again because just look at that girl!

She steps out of the dressing room in a floor length gown. She’s chosen something black, with gold glitter raining down it. The bodice is a solid mass of glittering gold. The boatneck makes her real neck look longer. The sleeves cap with glittery gold lace. The skirt hits her hips just right and fans out in a silky, black and gold mess. She wears black lace gloves. She looks like a princess. 

“You can see my pudge,” she said, wincing as she pinches at a roll near the dress’ waist seam. I slap her hand away and pat at the dress, pointing into the mirror. 

“Are you kidding? Look at that goddess,” I say. “You are a perfect kumquat.”

“It was an avocado, dingbat,” she says, spinning on her heels and storming back into dressing room. “Kumquats aren’t even vegetables. Kumquats don’t even look like avocados.”

I plop on the waiting bench, yards of tulle and tulle billowing up around me. I’d tried on a ballgown only to realize I felt absolutely miserable. 

I scrunch my bare toes against the floor, tugging at carpet fibers that have been matted from years of feet. 

“What about you? Don’t you like your dress?” my sister asks, the shimmery sound of silk and glitter falling to the floor floating beneath the door. 

“I pumpkined before I even put it on,” I say, accenting it all with the heaviest sigh. 

“Well here, get in here,” my sister says, cracking the door for me and hiding behind it. 

I stand and waddle. My dress pushes the doorway wide but still manages to hide the sister from passing strangers thanks to its bulk. 

Once inside, we wrangle the dress in an attempt to push the door closed. It fights back, punching me in the eye as it roars and grows another two sizes. 

The sister shoves both feet against the wall, shoulders pushing against the door until it swings past the tulle monster and closes. 

I strip. 

She kicks the mass of dress beneath the door, and we listen to it rustle away to find its next victim. 

“Yeah, okay. I see what you mean,” my sister says as she stands in just a bra and jeans, her hands comfortably resting on her small muffin top. 

I check the mirror with yet another sigh. “Good thing it’s a masked ball. That’s going to leave a bruise,” I say, running a hand over the already blooming bruise just beneath my right eye. 

“Did they say masked?” my sister asks. She’s turned to pick up a pink bit of quilted cotton. It’s that pretty pink that looks like it’s been mixed with gray and left into the sun to soak. Against my pale skin, the darker color would contrast well. And pink has always been brunette approved. 

“Ooo, what’s that?” I ask, head tilted. 

“I was going to try it on, but since I’m a goddess in black and gold, I thought it should be your turn,” she says. She holds it out, back already unbuttoned and unzipped. 

I step into and and turn, eyes analyzing as she zips and buttons and tucks me in. 

The dress has a high, rounded neck, but to make it interesting, there are two, teardrop cut-outs that reveal miniscule collarbone. No sleeves, and the skirt hits just below my waist. The circle skirt has a lot of fabric that twirls out and ends just above my knees. 

The dress has pockets. 

The dress has a diamond cut-out back that doesn’t hit low, but still makes me feel sexy. 

The dress has pockets. 

The bodice is patterned with tiny roses just a few shades darker than the overall color. 

The dress has pockets. 

I can’t even see my hairy legs as I twirl the skirt back and forth and stick my hands _in the pockets_ and admire the cut against my torso. I don’t look nearly as chubby as other clothes would make me feel. 

I’m sexy, and I have pockets. 

“Forget goddess. I’m a bombshell,” I say, this sigh leaning toward the ecstatic end of the spectrum. 

My sister shakes her head as she pulls her t-shirt over her head. 

I want to wear this dress out of the store and for an entire eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own this dress. It's white and has a black flower pattern not nearly as delicate as I wish. But I absolutely love this dress. 
> 
> Also, my sister is becoming a thing. Once again, I have no real miraculous characters. But of all the chapters, this one has been my favorite. Because this chapter was really fun to slap together. 
> 
> My thoughts aren't all connecting. 
> 
> Why does this story have kudos? You people are amazing.


	4. Long Wait for the Extra

When it comes to balls, everyone hates waiting. It's a fact of life. 

A fact I live with every day as I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and pause for effect wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitwait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitwait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and at some point, my copy and paste got a little ruined and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitwait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitand wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitwait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitand wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitwait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitand wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and waitwait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait I keep forgetting to add the space and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait there that's a bit more uniform and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait oh dang where did the main character go and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait no but really she seems to have stepped out and left a recording and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait is the recording skipping or did she really say this many waits and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait maybe we'll never know and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait what the heck could she be doing? and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait no really this is getting ridiculous no one actually wants to read a chunk of text and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and 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and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait just wait here, I'll go drag her back and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and 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wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait 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wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait wait and wait--

"Well what do you expect from me?! You just left me behind!" The sounds echo down the hallway. It appears we have all just broken down some fourth wall or something. Either way, the yells are muffled behind the door that has apparently been there this whole time. 

"It's called writer's block." The second voice sounds just a little different from the first. Like the first one has recently spent time in a cartoon realm and the second voice just does a lot of unnecessary cooing. 

"I don't care, you deserve the block of text."

"It's not me, I'm worried about. It's about the 17 people who have kudo'd this work." A pause. No one seems to be moving. I can hear the puzzled eyebrows from here. 

"I earned you 17 kudos?" 

"I know, right? You're maybe worth 1 from that one friend who took pity on me and snuck on after I'd gone home." 

"No need to be rude."

"Do you really disagree?"

"Moving on." 

The door springs open, and the third narrator disintegrates as the main character walks into her living room followed closely by the author. 

"Look," I say, facing the chubby cheeks and Whoville top knot that is the author, "You abandoned me. And then you wanted a bit of drama before the ball. But I've got none." 

"You had drama with a dress. Couldn't you figure something out?"

I look at those pretty blue eyes devoid of make-up, and I give a little smirk. Pointing up at the words above my head. "Well, didn't I just deliver?" 

The author sighs. "Just. Go spy on Ladynoir next chapter or something." 

I don't know when she leaves, but when I turn around, I'm alone with only a snoring dog for company.

The ball is tomorrow! I've waited long enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A) My apologies for any eyes that suddenly started jumping at the text chunk. 2) Literally started writing with no end goal in sight. I mean, we're talking grade A free writing here. c) I don't say this because I have no confidence in my abilities, I say this because it's the truth, but this is the stupidest thing I've spewed onto a page. four) I have like... three POVs in this? In retrospect, should have added a fourth. The dog could have definitely said something here. 
> 
> %) I can't believe I'm posting this, and how does this have kudos? 
> 
> "Pardon me, but could someone let me outside. I desperately need to whiz." I stand at her feet and stare with my killer gaze. She bends and coos and pulls my ears. It's not a great feeling, but it makes her happy. And then she walks away. Not even toward the door. Just walks away. 
> 
> Ah well, there's a lovely patch of floor just behind the couch that could work quite well. 
> 
> four repeated) Yeah, that's better.

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies. No one has even critiqued this. I don't even know if I'm going to continue it. Sometimes my writing takes a weird turn. I got the direction from [this post](http://avatarmerida.tumblr.com/post/140619444594).


End file.
